Mike Corts kicks ASS!

Mike Corts is hilarious, the other day he came into my office with mouse that he caught, he has a huge RATT tattoo, and he plays bad music on the machine shop just to drive Ken and John nuts. He constantly tells me he bruises like a peach, and he eats a loaf of bread and butter in one sitting. He also kills it on a bmx. Sam almost made noise once because he was stoked on Mike Corts. John Corts is cool too, but he totally freaks out about shit like mustard, Wegmans sandwiches, and hearing Jim Bagg talk about shitting his pants. Both the Corts’ like Mike tag though, and are probably stunned as they read this and scroll down to see a very creepy picture of Mike with a sick mustache. Derek Girard on the other hand is rumoured to be quitting BMX to become a cab driver, and Aaron Ross is trying out for a starring role in the remake of the TV show, “Saved by the Bell”. I just read the Lemmy autobiography. He makes most BMXers look like chickenshits, and he is older than my dad. I think he oculd give Kelly baker a run for his money, not sure though, one time i saw Kelly gnaw on a mans forehead for ripping his shirt, and another time Kelly smashed a guy in the face who was talking shit to him, right as the guy was taking a bite of a sandwich, leaving the man with shredded lettuce, and mayonaise all over his eye. Hilarious.

Originally Posted by Steve Crandall